I am tired of working on myself.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m happy to learn new things about myself and break old patterns and bad habits. That’s a beautiful reward. However, I’m tired of actually doing the work that is required for me to change.
This is not a 9-5 job from which I can take a break. This is a 24/7, 365 ordeal. Constant observation, constant reflection, and never-ending healing.
Don’t feel like reading? Watch the video below.
ACtivation Power
Activation power is the effort that it takes in order to make a change and break the automatic cycle in which we might be trapped.
Crazy thing: When it comes to launching a rocket, 90% of fuel is used to propel the rocket into the outer space. Once in space, it only takes 10% of fuel for it to cruise around space.
Breaking a cycle is hard, changing habits is hard, thinking different thoughts is hard. 90% of the work, however, is the act of getting started. Once you get started and pick up momentum – it finally becomes to feel easier and more effortless.
For example, I have been working out consistently for 13 years. When I started, it took me about a year to get into the habit of doing it regularly.
Now, years later, I can’t imagine not working out. It’s simply part of who I am and working out feels as automatic as brushing my teeth. I always find time to do it because it’s become an automatic way of functioning for me.
Become the Researcher of Your Own Self
The thing with working on yourself is that… many of us are doing it. I commend everyone who has asked themselves the deeper questions, looked at their behaviors and habits, and decided that they want to stop functioning on auto-pilot.
As I always say: become the researcher of your own self. This is the motto that I’ve been living by for the last 10 years. Asking myself questions, observing my patterns, understanding what I do and why I do it.
working on yourself can be compared to the 2 sides of a coin
On one side, you have the beautiful “end goals” of improving yourself and working on yourself. You have the beautiful healing, the revelations, the new habits, new ways of thinking, a more positive attitude.
Beautiful! This side of the coin is highlighted with beautiful keywords such as: healing, improving, living your best life, shedding your old self, and growth.
On the other side of the coin, however, is the fact that… this is actual work. It’s hard, exhausting, manual labor. No sunshine, rainbows, and white beaches. This work requires to roll up our sleeves, get a shovel and a flashlight, and descent to the darkest (and muddiest) part of ourselves.
This exhausting manual labor is what is required or us to clean our internal mess
Quite a visual, huh? But that’s what it feels like!
24/7/365
With a regular job, you go in, do your job, and at 5pm clock out. (Overtime can happen… but you get the point). With working on yourself, however, there is no time off.
This is 24/7/365. You are with yourself every second of the day. You are having to work on yourself constantly! There isn’t a set place or day or time where you do the work. Everything becomes your work
No matter where you go, you take yourself, and you take your mind. At work you’re working on yourself, in your romantic relationship you’re working on yourself, when you’re with your family on a vacation you’re working on yourself!
It is a constant job from which you do not have a break from.
Ignorance is Bliss
They say that ignorance is bliss, and to some extent, this statement is true. People who don’t work on themselves or who think ‘oh, I’m perfect, there’s nothing for me to improve’ might have an easier time on the day-to-day basis.
No need to reflect on what you’re saying, no need to observe how you feel, and there’s no habits that you need to change! Sure, that day-to-day life might be easier.
However, in the long term, this just makes for a difficult life. Drama, relationship conflicts, not taking responsibility and projecting your issues onto other people. Doesn’t sounds like a dream. A self-created, ignorant hell, if you ask me.
Constantly projecting things and blaming things onto other people is bound to get frustrating (& boring). If wherever you go, you find ways to blame others, have you thought that maybe… you might have something to do with it?
If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
Abraham Maslow
Tired but… Worth it?
I have never been so committed to something as I have been to doing inner work. I’ve never been more committed to working on myself and changing my habits, toxic patterns, limiting beliefs and healing trauma responses.
There are so many feelings that come up with this process and there is a looooot of letting go that needs to happen.
Changing yourself (i believe) is the hardest work a person can do. Re-wiring yourself as a person and letting go of things that are not serving you (yet, feel like you) is challenging. It feels like a constant internal batter between the old you and the new you.
So.. yes. It’s tiring, it’s challenging, it takes a long time. But in my eyes – it’s worth it. I was unhappy with my old self, so the worst that can happen is that I do the work and stay unhappy.
But if I put in the effort and on the other side I miiight be a little lighter, more integrated and conscious person? AND happier?! Yup, it’s worth it.
When we Heal Ourselves, We Heal the World
When we begin to heal ourselves we also help heal others and the world. It’s about the collective. When you, as an individual, do the work – it has an affect on those around you.
When you break away from unhealthy dynamics and behaviours, others see it and feel it (whether it’s conscious or unconscious). The inner work you do infiltrates your personal relationships, your social circles, and society as a whole.
Yes, you might be playing a small part in the transformation of the world as a whole – but it’s a crucial part. Your work doesn’t go unnoticed.
The world needs healing and we get there by healing ourselves.
Since we’re on the topic of working on yourself, have you tried doing inner child work? Check out here prompts that can help you. Additionally, if you enjoy video-class formats, consider checking out my class “Journaling for Self-Reflection”.